


A Little Bite of Romance

by CaladeanFey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Explicit Language, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Stalking, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19795828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaladeanFey/pseuds/CaladeanFey
Summary: Red and pink laser lights flash through the club glancing off of dancers as their bodies sway to the techno music blaring over the thrumming of the gyrating bodies. At the bar Naruto sits feeling like he has way too much skin exposed and is fiddling with his long black tail which he could swear is real fur instead of fake. What is he doing here again he wanders?





	A Little Bite of Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was originally supposed to be completed and posted for Valentines Day. Yeah didn't happen and it will also be two chapters instead of a oneshot like I intended.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Red and pink laser lights flash through the club glancing off of dancers as their bodies sway to the techno music blaring over the thrumming of the gyrating bodies. At the bar Naruto sits feeling like he has way too much skin exposed and is fiddling with his long black tail which he could swear is real fur instead of fake. What is he doing here again he wanders?

**Five Hours Prior**

**  
**

Naruto shuts the door of his locker after shoving his crap back in and picks up his black and orange duffel bag. His golden hair is still wet from his shower but he has rid himself of his pungent two hour work out sweat. Beside him Kiba finishes sliding on his own t-shirt his hair still managing to stick up in spikes despite its dampness.

Kiba and Naruto work out together every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday afternoon since Kiba works in the morning. Naruto is currently unemployed. He’d been trying out different jobs ever since he graduated high school. He’d tried the college life for a semester but decided he couldn’t handle the text book part and instead liked getting into hands on work.

His latest job had been in construction and he’d been a part of it for six months. Naruto doesn’t have to work for money since when his parents died when he was six, they’d left him a small fortune. Plus, his twelve years older brother Kurama was a big-time lottery winner and basically shoves money at Naruto every month with the words “Either take it or I’ll force you to move in with me.”

Now normally a threat like that wasn’t threatening. Well Kurama isn’t a normal brother. When Naruto decided to go backpacking across Europe for a year and missed his daily call to Kurama on accident, Kurama decided to “find” him immediately.

The end result was Naruto being on every international wanted list, missing person’s list and bounty hunter list known to man. Needless to say, he turned himself in just to keep the peace. Kurama could be over protective and living with him as a teenager had been hard enough. Every time Naruto got a date Kurama would do a background check on them and actively stalk Naruto on his dates.

So, when Naruto graduated high school, he demanded Kurama give him some space. So now he lives three states away from his brother but still takes a plane to see him every week just to keep him happy and sane. There is nothing scarier in the world than a serious bro-complex brother than a very rich serious bro-complex brother.

Naruto was 15 when his brother won not one lottery but four, at the same time. After taxes and a lengthy investigation to see if it was cheating (it wasn’t) Kurama won 2.3 billion dollars. This of course made it even harder for Naruto to live a normal life. Those that wanted to date or befriend him only wanted his brother’s money and his brother kept an even closer eye on him than ever.

Changing his last name and moving half a country away from his hometown and laying low for eight years fixed that. It also helps that Kurama stays out of the public eye and has a whole team of lawyers and media specialists to hush anything that crops up before it can even reach social media.

As such Naruto himself doesn’t partake in social media. His flat screen tv is only used for gaming and Netflix and he has a weather app on his phone so he doesn’t watch tv programs.

Despite that he has several friends and lots of acquaintances across the city. Of course, they only know him as Uzumaki Naruto and not Namikaze Naruto. Well all of them except his best friends Kiba Inuzuka, Gaara Subaku, Hinata Hyuga, and Sai Nakahara.

Taking all of this into account and his unemployment as of three days ago due to the construction company going under Naruto now has more free time than ever and absolutely no romantic life at all. Or at least that is what Kiba has been pointing out for the last two hours while they exercise. 

“Look Naruto its _Valentine’s Day_.” Kiba reiterates to him for the hundredth time.

“And I once again ask you what is your _point_.” Naruto demands as they check out at the front desk and walk out the doors into the bustling slightly chilly afternoon air.

“Three years Naruto. That’s how long I have known you and not once have you had a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“I’ve had one.” Naruto defends himself as they start the twenty-minute walk back to his apartment.

“You and Utakata didn’t even make it through the first date and kissed only _once_. On _accident_.” Kiba points out.

“I still don’t see why this means I need to hook up with someone just so I don’t spend a massively over capitalized holiday by myself.” Naruto replies waving to a familiar face across the street.

“I’m not asking you to hook up with someone Naruto I’m just saying you should go to Sai’s club tonight and have some fun, and _maybe_ hook up with someone.” Kiba insists.

“Hinata know your pushing me into this?” Naruto questions.

“This was her idea.” Kiba grins wickedly.

Naruto sighs. If even sweet do good Hinata is pushing him towards the couple life how is he supposed to refuse. It’s not that Naruto doesn’t want a relationship. Hell, he actually wants to be in love with someone more than he is willing to admit. It’s just after all that he’s been through with the fake smiles, false words of affection, occasional stalkers / kidnappers all for his brother’s money it’s really hard to trust anyone and become that intimate with them. With Utakata it was over before it even began, and his lovers before then had been very short term barely a week at a time. The minute they found out he had money they changed and not in a way that Naruto was okay with.

Naruto had tried dating someone that came from money but by Gaara and his third date they both agreed being friends would suit them better. They’d been right, now he and Gaara are basically brothers. Hell, Kurama even included him in their “family” photo the last two years for Christmas. Every year Kurama and Naruto took a photo of them building a snowman on Christmas, it had been a family tradition before their parents died and Kurama had insisted on continuing it after they passed away. The fact he had Gaara join them for it means Kurama accepts him as a part of their family.

Now that Naruto thinks about it Kurama’s boyfriend of a year will probably be in the photo this year too. That’s right his never dated before, has no interest in anything besides platonic love and familial skin ship, bro-complex brother has a boyfriend. Kiba fell off a chair when Naruto told him and Gaara actually spit his drink out in Naruto’s face. It took Naruto a good week to wrap his head around it too, but after meeting Itachi he realized why his brother fell in love with him.

Itachi gets it. And by “it” he means Kurama’s bro-complex, because Itachi apparently has a doozy of one himself. In fact, that’s how they met. They were both stalking their brothers at a local park. Naruto and Kurama had gone on a vacation and Naruto had insisted he be allowed an hour a day by himself. So naturally Kurama stalked him from the shadows. Well Kurama and Itachi ended up both diving into a bush when their separate targets both turned around at the same time due to a dog suddenly getting loose and knocking over a hot dog stand owner.

So, amidst trying to detangle themselves from each other without exiting or shaking the bush and still keeping an eye on their targets Kurama and Itachi bonded. Naruto was just glad that Kurama started spending more time with Itachi and therefore less time bothering him. He has a feeling that Itachi’s brother felt the same.

Anyway, maybe Kiba is right and he needs to try the dating scene again. If his crazy brother could find love then he should be able to, right? Right?

Naruto lets out a sigh before saying, “Alright Kiba I’ll _go_. Happy?”

“Not yet.” Kiba replies whipping out his phone and speed typing.

Seconds later Naruto’s phone dings and he takes it out of his pocket and swipes the screen. He has a message from Sai.

_Hey Naruto Kiba tells me you are coming to the club tonight. Be here at 5pm. I have the purrfect costume waiting for you._ _J_

Naruto feels the blood drain from his face. _Costume_?

“ _Now_ I’m happy.” Kiba laughs.

Naruto reminds himself that Hinata will never forgive him for murdering her boyfriend.

****************************************************************************

**A Few Hours Later**

“No.” Naruto says venomously while crossing his arm.

Sai gives him a very unimpressed look as he holds up a long black fur tail and a set of black cat ears on an easily concealable hairband.

“You don’t have the right to refuse.” Sai tells him point blank.

Naruto had tried to escape. Several times. After Naruto had gone home and decided to try and get out of going to Sai’s club a van had pulled up at 4:30pm sharp and four of Sai’s transgender workers had climbed out and forcibly dragged/kidnapped Naruto to the club. Naruto had fought like a wildcat and more than one of them is sporting bruises and a bite mark or two but he hadn’t escaped their evil clutches.

Now Naruto has been locked in a changing room with Sai and a whole lot of black leather and his odds of getting out with the clothes he has on are diminishing by the second.

“Please Sai, can’t you just let me go?” Naruto tries begging.

“This would not be any fun if I did that. Oh, and since you bit Harmony you now have to wear the shorts instead of the pants. She has a show tonight you know.” Sai scolds him smiling.

Naruto growls.

“You’re lucky I chose a cat. Missy wanted you to go as Adam or Tarzan.” Sai tells him with a wicked smirk.

Missy is the guy that designs all of the clothes and costumes for the club workers. Missy also likes putting hidden compartments in the waiter uniforms just for his personal use (and yes Naruto knows from experience). The sicko probably has those outfits in his size anyway waiting in the back. Missy may be perverted but he never forgets someone’s size after feeling them up just once.

“Why a costume party for Valentine’s Day?” Naruto groans out.

“We all came up with ideas and then drew them out of a hat. I was disappointed mine didn’t win because then we wouldn’t have needed to spend any money on clothes at all.” Sai says smiling evilly.

Sai is probably the most perverse straight-faced person in the world. Naruto thanks whatever God there is that Sai’s idea didn’t get picked. A year and a half ago Naruto actually worked for Sai for one month, because Sai was short on help and Naruto had worked in bars before. He’d been both a waiter and bar tender. Naturally he had also been forced to wear “outfits” designed by Missy like the rest of the workers.

Naruto shudders at those dark days. It had definitely been fun hanging out with all the other workers, but he’d been groped, felt up, and hit on more times in that one month than his entire life. In fact, one night when the theme had been mythical creatures, he’d come very close to being raped in the bathroom, twice. Now Naruto is not a small man and has a fair bit of muscle, but according to Sai he’d looked way too fuckable to pass up in that kitsune outfit. Sai gave him the outfit for Christmas in fact, along with a Taser for when he next wears it.

As if reading his mind Sai grins and pushes the ears and tail at him while saying, “I doubt this will have quite the impact as your kitsune outfit Naruto.”

Naruto sighs knowing there is no escape from this wicked man’s cat attire holding hands.

“Please tell me there is a mask too.” Naruto begs taking the waiting accessories.

“Actually yes, so your dignity will remain intact little kitty.” Sai replies.

“I need new friends.” Naruto moans pitifully.

“Agreed, but first time to get a _boyfriend_.” Sai instructs him.

“Oh God! You’re in on it too!” Naruto cries.

“Always. Now put on the fishnets.” Sai commands.

Naruto curses as he takes the little strips of fishnet clothing that Sai had laid out on a bench used for changing. First piece of cloth was a pair of really short fishnet boxer brief underwear that had solid cloth only for just barely covering his actual cock and butt crack, everything else was just fishnet. Next came the really short black leather shorts with strands of loose silver chains hanging down from the brim at the top and attach to the hem of the shorts every few inches apart. The shorts zipper even has a tiny silver cat face charm attached to it.

Naruto can feel his cheeks heating as he slides the shorts on over the fishnet underwear and zips them up. The length is shorter than daisy dukes but longer than booty shorts. This also explains why Sai made him spend the last hour shaving absolutely everything. The top is a black leather sleeveless midriff jacket that zips up with a matching silver cat charm to his shorts. Surprisingly the jacket has a high collar with soft black fur lining. Naruto zips it most of the way up leaving about 2 inches of bare skin.

Sai then hands him a black leather choker with a small silver bell on it. Naruto sighs before he puts it on. The bell tinkles as he fastens the choker in place. Sai pushes the headband into Naruto’s hair and then adjust the strands around it so the cat ears stand out but not the headband. Next Sai fastens the tail which is on a simple black leather belt around Naruto’s waist. The tail hangs gracefully behind him and Naruto can’t help but rub his fingers over the soft fur.

“Don’t forget these.” Sai tells him handing him two strips of fishnet.

Naruto takes the fishnet sleeves and slides them over his hands. The fishnet slides easily over his fresh shaven skin. The sleeves stop just below his elbows and attach around the middle finger of his hands to hold them in place leaving his palm free but covering the back of his hand with a fishnet triangle. The vent comes on and Naruto shivers. He wears more clothing than this to the freaking beach. He sits down next and slips on a pair of black low-heeled lace up knee high boots. The laces are a soft silver fabric and it takes Naruto several minutes to get them properly laced up.

“You want to keep the earring on or should I put it in the safe?” Sai asks pointing to the gold band piercing Naruto’s ear. Naruto reaches up to touch the earring. The golden band shines in the light while the single stripe of small blue diamond’s running around the earing’s center glitters. The earring is half of a one of a kind set. When Kurama won the lottery first thing he did was have a set of earrings customized for him and Naruto. Inside Naruto’s bore the inscription “Treasure” while Kurama’s had “Beloved Brother”. They’d each chosen the others inscription and Naruto had always worn the earring since. Though at times he had taken it off due to the danger of losing it such as drunken one-night stands with slightly questionable people, and similar probably shouldn’t wear an $18,000.00 earring incidents.

“No, I won’t really be drinking and if this turns into a one-night stand, I’ll stash it somewhere safe first.” Naruto tells him.

“So, you’re gonna swallow it before getting your brains fucked out.” Sai says quirking an eyebrow.

“You make it sound so crude.” Naruto scolds him.

“What if someone recognizes it? It’s not exactly a common earring Naruto.” Sai tells him seriously.

Naruto pauses. Its true everyone he knows, knows he wears the earring, and even though Sai’s club isn’t all that close to his home, it could give him away. Plus Kurama wouldn’t be all that happy to find out he’d swallowed the earring to protect it _again_.

“Fine you win.” Naruto replies very reluctantly slipping the earring out of his ear.

Sai takes the golden trinket in his left hand while handing Naruto the mask in his right hand. Naruto takes it and looks at it studiously before slipping it on.

The mask thankfully is not leather but a soft flexible metal and silken fabric with a thick elastic strap that fits nicely around his head. The mask molds around his eyes and over the top of his nose so he has no trouble breathing. Sai gives him a mirror and he inspects himself. The mask hides about a third of his face and Naruto is pretty sure most people wouldn’t recognize him if he passed them in the street. Blondes weren’t all that rare around the bar so he wouldn’t stand out all that much.

Sai turns one of the full-length mirrors around, its edges decorated in twinkle lights for Naruto to see his full appearance in. Naruto stares at his reflection. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. His time at the construction company on top of regular work outs had given him some nicely defined abs but he wasn’t bulky looking, in fact he has more of a lean muscle build like a swimmer.

Well now all of that is clad in black leather and silver and looks damn good.

“Want a picture?” Sai asks holding up an iPhone.

“Is Missy gonna get a copy of it?” Naruto questions.

“More than likely.” Sai replies smiling.

Naruto ponders about it for a moment biting his lip before replying, “Just one.” 

Sai grins and tugs Naruto into a half hug before taking a selfie of them together. Now Naruto just has to make sure Kurama doesn’t get a hold of it and secretly add it to one of his Naruto photo collections.

“DeAnne said she’d do your makeup if you want.” Sai tells him putting the full-length mirror back where it belongs.

“Tell her thanks but no thanks. This is enough.” Naruto says flicking the cat charm zipper on his jacket.

“Alright party is already started since you took so long.” Sai informs him pushing Naruto towards the door.

“I had the right to fight back against cruel and unusual punishment!” Naruto defends himself.

“Your just lucky Nancy wasn’t allowed to bring her whips.” Sai informs him all to happily.

“Why are we friends again?” Naruto questions as the doorway to the main club looms before him.

“We bonded over being victims of circumstance and I liked how you kicked that stalker pervert in the balls.” Sai reminds him.

“There’s nothing like the good loud pop of a testicle and screams of agony to make lifelong bonds over.” Naruto comments, grinning at the memory.

Sai chuckles with him as they walk down the long hallway of the dressing rooms to the upstairs area of the bar where only employees are allowed.

“Alright Naruto get out there and catch a wolf.” Sai tells him smiling.

“Don’t you mean a mouse?” Naruto questions.

“No.” Sai smiles.


End file.
